The History of Being 1%
I wish I could say:
I’m in the top 1% of athletes.
I’m in the top 1% of academic all stars.
Or,
I’m in the top 1% of anything EXCEPT what I am the top 1% of.
It’s been a long time since I blogged, it took me a long time to come up with a title that was appropriate. Until last night the only one I could think of was: “It sucks to be in the 1%.”
It all began in 1995, I was sick all the time. It was a time when I was working at Intel in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. It was the year before my college graduation. I felt awful, tired, achey, I was one of the healthiest people I knew, yet I felt like I had the flu all of the time.
There was this smell at Intel, I had to take hours to work with Intel’s Environmental person, walking around, letting him know, when I smelled ‘the smell’.
He told me, “You’re 1% of the population that can smell that particular chemical odor” But it shouldn’t be making you sick.
Intel didn’t renew our contract, they decided to run their wellness program internally, the flu feeling continued.
Months later, I learned I was Gluten Intolerant. That’s why I was sick.
It doesn’t take away from the fact that I was the 1%.
Then, cell phones really took off. The use of cell phones, the building of cell phone towers…
Turns out, I am the 1% that can actually feel the cellular radiation. Aren’t I lucky?!?
So, when I hold my cell phone to my head, I can feel it. It doesn’t feel very good, so I almost always have you on speaker phone when we talk.
When, I hold my phone in my hand, I can feel it.
I used to be able to feel the cellular radiation each time I drove by a tower. Now, it’s only the really big, strong towers.
Now I am the 1% of the population that develops an allergy to sulfur. How about that for you?!
I used to be only .5% of the population who has a gluten intolerance, until my Dad sent me this,
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704893604576200393522456636.html#mod=djemWMP_t
So, yes, I am the 1% of the population with a Gluten Sensitivity.
So here it goes,
1% that can smell the chemicals released at Intel.
1% of people who can feel cellular radiation
1% of people who develop a sulfur allergy
1% of people who can’t tolerate gluten.
There’s a trend here.
It’s important to understand, I don’t understand.
God made me this way for a reason.
God, why did you have to make me this way?
Why was I chosen to be the 1%?
I know it’s your blessing, but why?
Why do you make it so people make fun of me, and say harsh things to me, why do you make people say hurtful things to me, in expressing their disbelief of everything I deal with daily?
Why is it you’re making me sick?
Is it to make me stronger?
I have a new best friend,
The only filter that can take carbon disulphide, hydrogen sulfide, and everything else out of the air.
So I don’t know why God made me this way, it’s hard on me, especially right now. Having to choose between living in my dream home and ending up in the hospital.
Right now, it’s so much strain in my personal life, my home life, my work life, my working out life…
I have now had two episodes of not being able to breathe. One was 2 weeks ago at night, on a Tuesday, when I was lying in bed. One was yesterday at Isle de Bois. There was a south wind and everything from Fort Worth up just hammered me. I had to stop every couple of hundred yards and do a tree grab, near the end of our ride. Yes, I cried, why, because it hurts, it hurts physically, not to be able to breathe, and it hurts emotionally and mentally to not be able to do what I love, be outdoors, exercising.
This morning, a window was left open. Even though, I was sleeping with my new best friend, I came out of our room and was just hammered. I have never coughed like that, it was high pitch, it was dry. It continued for almost an hour. It hurt.
And to all the understanding people, I was making it up, I was coughing loud to be annoying, and over dramatic.
I’m already 1%, do you know that that means to be 1%?!?
It’s hard on me, and I really need people to be kind to me right now, understanding, and compassionate. My life is being turned upside down, and I’m trying really hard not to let this ruin it.
I’m trying to grow and understand, and know that God has a plan and most importantly that everything will turn out OK, because every minute is different, and some minutes don’t feel like everything is going to be OK.
I had an awesome week this week, I ran, I biked, I swam. The weather was delightful, Bartonville passed a 90 day moratorium. My kids rock. I have faith and trust in all good things are possible.
Today we ran a 5k with the family. The girls did run club, and I was the assistant coach. Sophie and I ran it in 27 minutes. She did great. I am so proud of them. Every day.
I was at the finish line, helping all the Argyle Run Club kids sprint to the line. And then, there was the dude, who was conscious, began to stumble, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed. I was the first one on the scene. I got to witness first hand, the crowd aspect of how everyone always assumes someone else is taking care of it.
I had my cell phone in my hand. I called out “Some one call 911”. Then, it was me, then, I yelled for people to come, it was a hospital sponsored event. I yelled for a bus, they didn’t have a bus. We did have lots of nurses on hand to do CPR. I stayed on the phone with 911, and screamed for addresses, AED’s
He had no pulse, no breath.
He was conscious, then, he was unconscious.
He had no pulse, no breath.
He was conscious, His wife was in shock. I tried to hug her and calm her, and keep her with us, for him, and for her. ..she kept saying, that is my husband…lying on the ground with people all around, she can’t see him because everyone is working together for CPR.
He was conscious, and then, went into convulsions,
He was unconscious, no pulse, no breath, and finally,
The EMT’s arrived with a bus.
I may have been instrumental in saving a man’s life today.
I may have watched a man die today.
I may have held a woman who’s husband died today, I may have comforted a woman, who will be able to spend the next 25 years with her husband.
Or I may have simply witnessed my fate