I am not sure if right now is the right time to blog
It’s been a long time.
It’s been a long week.
I think, like not going to the grocery store when you’re hungry, I wonder if blogging while you’re: mad, angry, sad and depressed are the right time. The one thing I do know, and have learned slowly and patiently over the years, is when we have feelings we need to express them.
If I have spent this last year bottling up all my feelings, I certainly wouldn’t be in as good of a place as I am right now.
I have been MIA for some time. I was really pretty sick after that 8 mile run, and the shower Monday morning, even left me in a worse position. I feel strongly that it is IT IS MY AMERICAN RIGHT TO BE ABLE TO RUN/BIKE, AND YES, EVEN BATHE FROM MY HOUSE. Some how the politicians, and the Gas Industry believe differently.
So I was gone, because I had some difficult tasks to do this last week. To tell all the people I really care about that I am moving to ABQ, NM. I am being forced out my dream home by the lack of regulation of the Gas Industry. Yea, I know, I have developed a sulfur allergy. If the Gas Industry was more regulated, I would not have had an acute exposure to Hydrogen Sulphide, and there wouldn’t be so much sulfur in the air that I have to move from my home. And I feel with certainty that the sulfate concentration in the well water wouldnt’ be so high either.
I had a great time yesterday at Big Cedar doing bottle handouts. I like the new bottles. They are pretty cool. I hope you got one. I got to see all of my good friends, got to meet some new ones. I was incredibly dizzy yesterday while I was there. I knew in my brain that I should leave, my heart wanted to stay. I should be able to enjoy myself out of doors shouldn’t I? Or maybe I am asking too much.
Last time I checked, it is my American Right to be able to enjoy the things that I love without pain, or wondering if I will make it through the day.
So today was my day to race. I was wondering how 5 hours infused with sulfur that gave me symptoms would sit with me. It’s for fun, to check my fitness, see my improvements.
4:15 AM the alarm goes off, I roll out of bed, and out of our bedroom, to the smell of burning rubber/melting plastic. So indeed, there was some action last night. Not the kind of action I look forward to. I don’t care, I love what I do, and I should be able to do what I love, it is MY AMERICAN RIGHT.
So off to Johnson Branch for the awaited moment to see if I have gotten faster, even though last year, was mostly off.
I had to drive by an active drill site, right in the middle of Denton. On the W side of the road, right near the Peterbilt company. I was thinking, who cares. Of course, I had to cover my mouth and hold my breath.
So off I go.
I get up to Johnson Branch everything is good, my swim was good. It was pretty slow for me, and for everyone else for the same reason, you couldn’t see the buoys because we were swimming into the sun.
I don’t usually have trouble getting my wetsuit off so why should it be any different today?
I want to keep it on because I am cold, and because I am really pretty fast getting it off. Until today. I was thinking I was going to lose my chip on the swim, it seemed loose, and when I went to go get my wetsuit off, it was all tangled up and it ended up that I had to take it off…so a little slow.
I was thinking to myself, both on the swim and the bike:
I am either:
a) going really fast
or
b) I am really tired…
I’m thinking ‘b’.
On the bike, I didn’t feel like I had my usual strength, but I did feel pretty good. The wind was strong and I was really excited about the last lag of the bike, you know the lag that you feel like Lance Armstrong, riding with the wind.
I hit a sulfur patch, had some trouble breathing, and I was able to deal with it and keep going. Or at least I thought.
I got into transition and began the run…I was very excited because, unlike Waco, I settled right into a good pace, using gravity, my form seemed good. And it hit.
I couldn’t breath. I was suddenly in so much pain, I double over. It felt like my diaphragm was hypercontracting, my insides hurt so bad, I kept keeling over. I did my best to keep with it, to slow down, I did my best, to walk/jog. I became emotional but knew to stay relaxed so I could breathe. Eventually, I came to this point where I knew I couldn’t keep going, I probably should have been lifted off, but I have this strong feeling: THAT IT IS MY AMERICAN RIGHT TO DO WHAT I LOVE, AND BE OUTDOORS without consequences.
Everyone was asking me if I was OK, and I said, “yes”. Really I wanted to scream:
No I am not OK, I am being forced out of my home, and being kept from doing what I love because of the Gas Industry. I used to be able to do this without thinking about it, but now, I have to plan my life around which way the wind is blowing and where the active drill/frac sites are.
Does this seem fair?
I’m pretty sure there are a lot of other people who are sick, who can’t figure out, why they have uncontrolled asthma, why they are getting weird rashes, or headaches.
I know I am not alone in my struggles. I have a few friends in North Texas that I talk to, they have the same problems I have.
So I had to DNF, I couldn’t run anymore, I couldn’t walk back to transition without keeling over. When I got back to the transition and I turned in my chip, I was feeling rather dizzy, so I decided, to blaze out of there.
I will probably have to leave this week. At least for a few days.
I don’t want to because I will have to be without my family. The girls will have to stay here. My youngest wants to go with me, she doesn’t feel very well either: headaches, rashes, nosebleeds, sore legs, and fatigue.
I will come back, over the weekend, and then, I will be leaving on Thursday, then, I will be back June 5th, and then, we will be moving on June 11th.
Not everybody gets sick from Natural Gas Extraction, only some people do, and if I am the only person you know who is sick from Natural Gas Extraction, don’t you think that’s enough?
Apparently, Texas Politicians and the Gas Industry feel: NOT.
If you ask me, one person is too many.